40th Birthday Jokes

40th Birthday Sayings :

You know what they say about life beginning at 40? Well, they were lying!

I’ll be 40 soon, and I was going to title my party- “Nearer to Death than Birth”!
It’s got a nice ring to it ,don’t you think ?

Save all hairs that come loose when you brush your hair at 40 – one day medical science may develop a means of replanting them.

Look twenty years younger in an instant – borrow a baby and train it to call you ‘mummy’.

Buy a computer, digital camera and a MP3 player. Although you’re incapable of understanding how to use them at least you’ll appear trendy.

Take the strain off your tired out memory by labeling all household objects – bed, fridge, television etc.

Should you ever get the urge to go ‘all night clubbing’ apply the simple rule – forget it!!

Never attempt bending down at age 40, except under strict medical supervision.

Develop the power of a photographic memory at 40 – take photographs of everyone you need to remember.

Use your ailing health to blackmail your children into doing all your gardening and housework at 40.

Keep a diary – it will be a great source of comfort and a handy reminder of what you did yesterday.

Avoid the company of young people they are a sad reminder of your long lost youth.

Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger.

Finding your false teeth can be difficult when you mislay your spectacles. Always keep these vital items attached to you by pieces of string.

40th Birthday Quotes :

“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
-Helen Rowland

“At the age of 20, we don’t care what the world thinks of us. At 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us. At 40, we discover that it wasn’t thinking of us at all.”

“The best years of a woman’s life – the ten years between 39 and 40.”

“What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.”

“Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
-Jack Benny

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