Mommy Mommy Jokes III

son: Mommy, Mommy! There’s something in daddy’s eye!
mom: Shut up and eat around it.

son: Mommy, mommy! how far is America?
mom: Shut up and keep rowing.

son: Mommy, mommy, can I go swimming?
mom: Shut up. You know iron lungs don’t float!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.
mom: Shut up. I’m in the bathroom, slide her under the door.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.
mom: Shut up and get the maple syrup.

son: Mommy, mommy, dad’s been run over in the street!!
mom: Don’t make me laugh; you know my lips are chapped.

son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child?
mom: Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards.

son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child?
mom: Shut up and pass me the crowbar.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why can’t I play with the other kids?
mom: Shut up and deal.

son: Mommy, Mommy, I don’t know how to play poker.
mom: Shaddup and deal.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
mom: Shut up or I’ll chop off the other leg!

son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won’t come skipping with me.
mom: Don’t be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed.

son: Mommy, Mommy, I don’t like running in circles!
mom: Shutup, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.

son: Mommy, Mommy, Why am I running around in circles?
mom: Shutup, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.

son: Mommy Mommy! I’m getting dizzy!
mom: Shutup, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.

son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl?
mom: Shut up and flush.

son: Mommy mommy, I hate you
mom: Shut up or I’ll eat you.

son: Mummy, mummy, please can I have a spoon?
mom: Yes of course dear. Why do you want the spoon?
son: Because Daddy’s been sick, and the cat’s getting all the big bits

son: Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to empty the compost heap.
mom: Shut up and keep eating.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why can’t we get a garburator?
mom: Shut up and chew!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy’s on fire!
mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire!
mom: Shut up and get the barbecue sauce!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles?
mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat
grinder! mom: Shut up and eat your hamburger!

son: Mommy, Mommy! I’ve lost my fingers!
mom: Shut up and eat your french fries!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked!
mom: Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl?
mom: Shut up and flush it like everyone else.

son: Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want hamburgers for supper!
mom: Shut up or I’ll grind your other hand.

son: Mommy, Mommy! I HATE tomato juice!
mom: Shut up and drink it before it clots.

son: Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad.
mom: stop complaining! Just eat it!
son: Mommy, Mommy!
mom: What is it now!
son: Do I have to eat the beak as well?

son: Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men?
mom: Shut up and get back in the oven.

Son: Mommy Mommy, is this really the way to make meat pies?
mom: Shut up and get back in the microwave.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandma’s got a bruise.
mom: Shut up and eat around it!

son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?
mom: Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

son: Mummy, Mummy! I don’t like grandma.
mom: Well leave her on the side of your plate then.

son: Mommy, Mommy! I don’t like grandpa.
mom: Well, just push him aside and eat your beans.

son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn’t eat?
mom: Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

son: Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner?
mom: Shut up, we haven’t even finished your Grandmother yet.

daughter: Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much.
mom: All right, you can take another slice.

son: Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts.
mom: Shut up and eat what’s put in front of you.

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