Mommy Mommy Jokes IV

son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa’s going out!
mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
mom: Shut up son, you’ll wake your father.

son: Mommy, mommy, can I buy a new dress?
mom: You know it won’t fit over your iron lung.

son: Mommy!Mommy!Who will I stay with while you are gone?
mom: Grandma Dear now get in the coffin.

son: Mommy, Mommy, I’d like to play marbles now!
mom: Keep quiet, you can’t use Grandpa’s glasseye today!

son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I’m 16..
mom: Shut up Albert….

son: Mommy, mommy, why is your hair so green?
mom: [Sneezes into hand] Sure don’t know, son. [wipes hand on hair]

son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?
mom: You don’t, but lift your head up or you’ll scrape the floor.

son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can’t?
mom: Shut up or I’ll cut your ears off, too!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we celebrating Christmas in July?
mom: Shut up, you know you have cancer.

son: Mommy, Mommy, don’t push to the elevator shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT!
son: Mommy, Mommy! What do you want with that ax….
son: Mommy, Mommy! I can’t breathe!
mom: Good, it’s working.

son: Mommy, Mommy! What am I gonna be when I grow up?
mom: Nothing, dear. I have AIDS!

son: Mommy, Mommy! can I have a bike for Christmas?
mom: Nope. You already have your wheelchair.

son: Mommy, mommy! I don’t see what’s so hot about watching tv!
mom: Shut up and turn the damn thing on!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy just poisoned my kitten
mom: Never mind dear. Perhaps he had to do it.
son: No he didn’t, he promised me I could!

son: Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us?
mom: Now you know your little brother has no arms and legs!
son: Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second base.

son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimey?
mom: Shut up, you little snot.

son: Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to go to Australia.
mom: Shut up son and keep swimming.

son: Mommy, Mommy, I don’t want to go to England.
mom: Shut up and keep swimming.

son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
mom: Shut up and get back in the sack!

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